Job Skill Enthusiast Prints

"The most useful course I've ever done was the "Creative Writing" course I did as a kid: It's been invaluable in writing Grant Applications..."

The Three Wise Queens

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

Resume Dumpers

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

Now hiring.

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'Get out there and keep your job!'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'My strength lies in my ability to deny my weaknesses.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'We're not hiring. The company is just giving me some experience conducting interviews.'

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate. I'm flexible on location - I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume. I don't think you understand what that mwans. The octopus got the job because he's a great multitasker!