Job Security Jammer Mugs

No-one ever leaves Goldman Sachs voluntarily

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

37 years in the same position.

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

Boptimism

Women's Martial Arts Center

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'You're resigning? What great timing! I was going to lay you off friday!'

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

'To show you I'm not all bad, I won't be letting you go until after 'Bring Your Child To Work Day'.'

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

'Times are tough, Smith, but I don't want to lay you off. So, to keep you working, I want you to wash our building. That should keep you busy for the next decade.'

'We think a lot alike - and that threatens my uniqueness to this company.'

"Now I don't want to alarm you, but are you familiar with the term 'On the scrapheap'!"

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

I don't like the looks of this.

"Grunzman, I really appreciate you. I appreciate you to work somewhere else."

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

Redundancies

"Dude, I figured out why your solos sound so bad - that thing's actually a bass."

'But Tom, you AREN'T being marginalized. You're being fired. There's a difference.'

'I discovered just as much work gets done when you're not there.'