Job Security Analyst T-Shirts

'They come and go. I've outlasted five of them.'

'I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed I was let go by the public sector and not wanted by the private sector.'

'You're not being paranoid. You have every reason to fear losing your job.'

"I think I should warn you I'm beginning to think of you as a potential parking space."

'The only people with a job for life are undertakers and traffic cone manufacturers!'

"I'll see you Monday Frank."

The Anti-Agent

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

AI Safety Officer

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

'Wouldn't it be cheaper to apologise to the Middle East?'

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

"We occasionally remove content that is considered to be subversive, or a potential threat to public order and national security."

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

Aggression/Security

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"Mr. Miranda....we are using 'schedule 7' to hold you on suspicion of knowing someone who knew someone who was a whistleblower...."

"I've dabbled in espionage, but my main area of expertise is self-sabotage."