Job Security Analyst T-Shirts

'They come and go. I've outlasted five of them.'

"The bad news is, your pay will now be performance based. The good news is, they've just raised the minimum wage."

Nursery Rhyme Updates: "Humpty Trumpty." You're fired!

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed I was let go by the public sector and not wanted by the private sector.'

'You're not being paranoid. You have every reason to fear losing your job.'

"I think I should warn you I'm beginning to think of you as a potential parking space."

'The only people with a job for life are undertakers and traffic cone manufacturers!'

"I'll see you Monday Frank."

The Anti-Agent

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"I see you've security marked your property."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

'Wouldn't it be cheaper to apologise to the Middle East?'

AI Safety Officer

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

A Little Extra

Death to the Extremists

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

"We occasionally remove content that is considered to be subversive, or a potential threat to public order and national security."