Job Safety T-Shirts

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

"And why exactly did you quit your job as a chainsaw salesman, Mr. Shloompf?"

Wally earns big buck stuffing envelopes at home!

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

37 years in the same position.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Man using to much bug spray

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

On the brink.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

"We need a union!'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'