Job Reminder Pillows

"I told you before, Joe. . . you need to keep your work and personal life separate!"

Your computer has every alert, alarm and reminder possible...enough with the sticky notes!!!

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

After party at the spill club.

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

'Your performance has been a steady boat in a sea of change.'

"I got a job for the king!" "Shirley, you jest!"

"Hold on, Brandon. Let your probationary period expire before you start microwaving fish."

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

'I don't known why these people are always complaining... we give them stimulating challenging work.'

'Jones, I have asked this officer to arrest you on the grounds that you are a serial time killer.'

You're fine, but we'd like to run some tests on your insurance card.

'It hasn't gone unnoticed by management how much extra time you've been spending in the office...so here's a bill to repay the electricity you've used.'

Employee of the Month - male.

"How long has it been, Fenwick, since you weaseled your way into this corporation?"

"Apparently you've come to somebody's attention."

'This beeper goes off when it's my Birthday. This beeper goes off on the day we met. This beeper goes off on Valentine's Day...'

"Now, now sir, you know I can't give you the injection in your 'prosthetic' arm!"

Tedium

Must... Remember...

Quality Control

"At what point in your public relations career did you realize you don' relate to the public?"

'Still at a plateau, Mrs Johnson?'

'He had chest pains. A real wake-up call to slow down a bit. Unfortunately, he was on another line and missed it.'

'Can you run that by me again? I'm not sure I got it down right...'

'After two hours in your waiting room, of course my blood pressure is up!'

'Some book-keeping, photocopying, general office duties and some danger...'

'Good thing you came in. Most men just ignore the warning signs.'

"Now about this fixation about reminding yourself of everything"

'Don't forget to post that parcel!'

"I know, I know. I won't forget your birthday."

"Did you forget to take your medication dear?"

'Do we have to get a job before we can collect unemployment compensation?'