Job Market Navigator T-Shirts

'We have an opening for a part-time intern, which could lead to a full-time unpaid internship.'

'We'll be in touch. I still have to interview a few other applicants.'

'What about short-term? Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

'Your standardized test scores are impressive, but we have no standardized jobs.'

Career advice from the boss

'I'm sorry I have to let you go but since this a global economy, you may rotate back here someday.'

'I exaggerated on my resume and I was still underqualified.'

Youth Unemployment - 'There's an apprenticeship opportunity on TV tonight.'

We have plenty of people here to push paper. I need someone new to push the envelope.

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"You seem to be intelligent and hardworking ... that could be a problem."

"We're looking for someone who is thrilled just to have a job."

'It's true that a college degree might render you overqualified for your present position, but it's a chance I'd take.'

Boss out of work.

Good Luck with the job hunt.

For sale

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

'You say here that hard work doesn't scare you as long as you hide your eyes.'

We need references other than your 336 Facebook friends.

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

'If it's any consolation to you your job application's being recycled!'

'We offer no perks. We consider a job a perk.'

'Bob, we know that you can do the job, even though you did exaggerate your resume.'

'If I knew what I'd been doing the last few years, I could look for similar work...'

'When I grow up, I'm going to be an electrical engineer and when I'm laid off, I'm going to go into real estate, and when that goes down the tube, I'm going to go into...'

"I'm in between jobs right now, so if you kids would give these business cards to your parents that would be primo helpful."

You've got the job, no questions asked. Except for these seventy-six.

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

'Am I way off base, Mr. Vickers, or am I detecting a slight tone of desperation in your resume?'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"He's having a hard time finding work."