Job Market Jitterbugs T-Shirts

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

How are you at decision making?

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

The world's most unemployable family

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Dolestart - A New Initiative

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

"We don't have a grievance committee, but we have a grieving committee for fired employees."

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

'Restaurant' in bad need of staff

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

'Your resume says you have a B.A. in medieval history, a M.A. in modern art, and a PhD in metaphysical poetry. Have you checked us out on the internet? We design and manufacture detonation switches for drones.'