Job Market Gladiator T-Shirts

'Him? Oh, he's my job interview coach.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

The Three Wise Queens

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

Dolestart - A New Initiative

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"We don't have a grievance committee, but we have a grieving committee for fired employees."

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'I see an applicant being hired!'

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

'Restaurant' in bad need of staff

"It has come to my attention that you may have been somewhat less than forthcoming in your résumé."

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"A Japanese company will deliver them to us for �6.75 a thousand."

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'