Job Jumper Prints

'Good luck with your new job...we all know how much you'll miss the old one.'

'I'm stuck in this job!'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

(an employee is in grasp of a giant octopi.The employee's boss is yelling at him through a bull-horn) 'Mr. Smith! According to H.R., you can no longer be employed here! Alright H.R., you can set Mr. Smith down now!'

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

Something tells me his current firm aren't going to be happy to let him go!

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

'I'm married to my job, and now it wants a trial separation!'

Why do you want a career in the bank?

Jack and the Beanstalk.

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'