Job Interview Coach Pillows

'I think I'm right for this job because I'm a real people person. Now are you going to hire me or not? I don't have all freakin' day!'

"These references are excellent Mr. Canning. But do you have any from someone other than your mother?"

"You seem to have plenty of confidence."

'Would you cart to explain this three page gap in your resume?'

"Good: I see you're fluent in nonsense."

"At this point in the interview, we like to turn things over to the job candidate, just to offer you one last, desperate opportunity to tell us what you think we want to hear!"

"I see from your resume that you lost your last job due to habitual lateness."

"Have you been convicted of a violent crime in the past 10 days?"

'How fast can you hype?'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"And where have you previously moused?"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

How are you at decision making?

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'Yes, can I help you?'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'