Job Interview Anniversaries T-Shirts

"… and exactly how many years were you a village idiot?"

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"And where have you previously moused?"

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

A very young man being hired as a groom.

How are you at decision making?

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'I try not to think big too often or I get terrible headaches.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."