Job Interview Anniversaries Pillows

"… and exactly how many years were you a village idiot?"

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'How fast can you hype?'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"And where have you previously moused?"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

How are you at decision making?

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'I try not to think big too often or I get terrible headaches.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'