Job Hunter's Survivalist Pillows

'I remember you. Were you laid off from this company last month?'

'Thank-you God.'

Late/Too Late.

Emergency Phone.

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

Resume Dumpers

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

With the office space available, we have no choice but to believe in teamwork!

No employee is indispensable, but Doreen came pretty close.

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'

"'Can correctly complete a CAPTCHA image 8 our of 10 times.' Any other skills?"

"We do price loyalty, but we were also rather hoping for a candidate who could read right and walk on two legs."

In and Out tray filled with messages in bottles on a manned desk on a desert Island

"Keep in mind that it was put there by the sharks."

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

'You're overqualified... so you'll have to act stupid.!

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

'I'm telling you, this is a tough place to work. Pass the pepper spray.'

How to survive the coming crash.

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

'Just remember. . . work harder, work smarter and more importantly, you may have to work for less.'

'It's an important post, I think three day interview followed by two role plays and group interview with the partners.'

'Check... weapons... maps... house-wife... clean underwear...'