Job Hopper Cheerleader Pillows

Personnel. What do I call those gaps in my work history? Quality time.

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

"I go that extra mile!"

Office Meeting

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"Let's honor this young future farmer - he's ready to endure hard labor, long hours and outrageously low farm prices..."

Congratulations on your promotion.

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

"Your cubicle is fun, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I was invited to Jim's cubicle."

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

Encouraging pats on the back.

Personal Cheerleader.

'He made me jump through hoops, but I got the job...'

"I see by your resume, you don't stay in one place long."

'Can I get an AAAAY-OHHH?'

There's a special little jog people do when they've just left a job interview that they think went really well.

Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

"I'm leaving my job so that I can spend time with another job."

'We have an opening for a receptionist and a sales person and I'm ready to quit. How are you at multitasking?'

'When I grow up I', going to be an electrical engineer and when I'm laid off, I'm going to go into real estate and when that goes down the tube, I'm going to go into . . . '

"I don't know about you guys, but I sure miss the dog park."

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just holler."

Labour Protests

"We don't have a battle cry to get the employees revved up, but it's amazing how productive people can be when you get them doughnuts every Wednesday."

"You got the chip shop gig, then?"

Employment Office. I see by your resume that you don't stay in one place very long.

Welcome to our team.

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

"Chasing, digging, rolling, fetching. . . have you no experience doing absolutely nothing at all?"

'Hi, you must be the new guy.'

"It's not just the church that needs evangelists. So does big oil."