Jet-set Adventurer T-Shirts

"Please, Lord, make me T.S.A. precheck."

'And one more thing, while you're in Bangkok be careful of the ladies in Patpong district. They may not be all they appear to be.'

Airlines

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"First class, or with children?"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'Are we there yet?'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

Travelling

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

Private Jet

'He must be going economy!'

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"These shades are GREAT-I dreamt I was in Tahiti!"

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Two airplanes

"Hell: The Airport"

Flights and Coronavirus

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

'Business or pleasure?'

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

'Will that be coach?'

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'I take it you've never used an air taxi before.'