Jet Pack Dreamer Mugs

Deregulated Baseball

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

Whale Romance

Fuzz - Fuzzy says 'let me hear you say yeah!'

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

Altar Ego

'Unfortunately, our entirely Twitter and Facebook based business model was a little ahead of its time!'

Caveman on the brink of technology.

Fast Lane. cars Like yours.

'Forget your two million pound recording contract. When are you going to get a steady job?'

My First Boat

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'Funny thing is, in an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, this is actually happening!'

Thinning Hair/ Erectile Dysfunction/ One Foot in the Grave.

Fuzz - a higher power guides Max's fingers.

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

Isaac Newton...stumped.

A drone laying an egg

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

"I've just come back from a break in Tuscany...I was surrounded by the beauty of nature in the raw...it really made me question what I was doing with my life. I've got the money, the big car and grand house, but is that really enough? Isn't there more?"

Here we are, living the great American novel, and there's no one to write it down for us.

'I suppose that it was inevitable.'

"Okay! I know! I'm proud that you have a job and you've set a goal to spend all your money...on a nice lowrider car."

How Will You Spend Your Extra $5 an Hour?

"J.J., mind if I float something past you?"

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

"Thank you and goodnight! You've been a great audience."

Peter Gabriel

'When I first planned my retirement it was an ocean going 7 berth yacht with jacuzzi and helipad.'

'The worst thing about being armless is, I'll never play guitar and become a rock star.'

Janis

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

'Drone Santa.'