Jeopardy Fan T-Shirts

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Senior Jeopardy!

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"Next riddle without looking it up, can you tell me which is the routing number and which is the account?"

'I can understand Heisenberg's equation and Schrodinger's equation for quantum mechanics but I cannot understand derivative trading.'

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University. Seriously? Nobody's going to go to a psychologist who's got a diploma from some random online college. And psychologists have to have a whole arsenal of treatments. They can't just use reverse psychology for everything. So what you're reverse-saying is, I'll be sought-after and highly effective. No that's ... ok, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.

Academic Jeopardy - "This was Titian's favorite after-dinner dessert."

'And your specialist subject is the Invisible Man films?'

'Think about it: If you eat me now, you won't get an egg every day...'

"Well, if everybody does it, it must be o.k."

'Thank you for calling. We value your call...at 95 pence per mintute.'

"Damn it! Ask something on the Franco-Prussian War!"

"Okay people, pagers, beepers, and cell phones ON."

'Are you choking or are you serious?'

"He's on your 'personal computer'. . . his name is Norman and he's really good at mental arithmetic."

Geographic Oddities. It defies logic, but Little Rock is a bigger city than Boulder.

Chicken and egg in a waiting room: 'Who was first?'

'According to the surveys nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot...'

MONOTONY

"It seems reasonable to assume that eating the stuff won't do us any good either."

"How the mighty have fallen!"

The Apprentice

"If I need to stop smoking and lose weight...what are you going to do about it?"

Rorschach multiple-choice test.

Merge left...merge right...converge center....

Men filling in crosswords on ladies dresses.

'Why am I sitting up here so high? Because I have long legs!'

Jim took management through his latest development. He was going after the generation where every child gets a ribbon!!

'Robots helping seniors.'

Told ya there was game crossing out here!