Jargon Pillows

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'He spoke in millions...then I found out he was a bacteriologist.'

NYer uploaded by mod - Pistachio Terminology 2022

Parson asking a professional player about cricketing terminology.

Sack - It's this month's buzz word.

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

'Welcome to 'Wall Street Speaks'... and now our next guest is an expert on street talk.'

'Whenever he says 'Et cetera', it mean's he's run out of ideas. . .'

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"I'm not called the Grim Reaper now - I'm an 'After-life Care Facilitator. . .'"

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

"I propose the next person who says 'it is what it is,' we beat the living hell out of him."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Look at this - we're trying to merge with some of our acquisitions, and we're trying to acquire some of our mergers."

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

'It has everything... I love it!'