Jailhouse Romantics T-Shirts

"Would you still love me if I wasn't a criminal?"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Shakespeare in the clink

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'I can't believe it! -- My own personal computer turned state's evidence!'

'Now then, Mr. Grumpypants, if we're to get along we'll have to turn that frown upside down...'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'I got six months for arson, and ten years for failing to file an environmental impact statement.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

At least you have security!

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

Prison Paintings

"Five to ten years of bad accordion music...OMG!"

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'It's for you.'

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

I don

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

"He told me it was for a hot tub."

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

Break-ins by the Masochist Society

"I found your contact lens."