Jacket Junkie Pillows

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

STRIP "I've tried everywhere to get a new winter court...but all the stores are full of next years summer collections"

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

Dr. Phil takes it home.

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

Today's alpha-lesson is "Keep a journal." The average person lets life pass them by. The events of their lives fade into nothingness. An alpha knows that long after they're gone, their thoughts and experiences will be of great interest to historians. That's not an original thought. I read it in the papyrus Randus Maximus XIV left in a safe deposit box after he helped conquer Judea.

I think I have a gilt complex.

Covid v Vaccinator

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

"Let's take in a trial."

Upholding the Law

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

"I plead guilty, Your Honor, but only in a nice, white-collar sort of way."

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

'Ladies and Gentlemen of the press- what is your verdict...?'

'What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you're dead.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

"It's a midriff warmer."

Replica Football Merchandise

At the CD shop.

"I keep up with all the journals."

Time to put away your presents. I don't have room. You said you "needed" a new jacket. I do! My old one's too small. Donate it. I would. But I can't get it out of my closet.