Jabber Aficionados T-Shirts

"With Gloria, it's in one ear and out the mouth."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Stairlift around cliff face.

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

Unemotional Support Animal

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Stormy weather

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

Cheating Death.

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

"Very Presidential."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

"You've got to be kidding me." Hoover Dam

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

Watchdog on Holiday