It Support T-Shirts

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"Maybe if I unplug it and plug it in again, it'll fix the mess."

"I'm well aware that your e-mail isn't working. I got your first message."

"Have you tried turning it off and throwing it out the window?"

I think that may have been one software revision and unnecessary upgrade too many for him.

After the upgrade, crashes were far less frequent and seldom fatal.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"OK, Mr. Johnson, after you take the computer out of the office toilet where you threw it, try rebooting..."

"I'll call you back. After 5 hours of confusing explanations and computer jargon, I need to reboot the geek."

'The staff are healthy enough, it's the computers that keep getting a virus!'

'The way the virus works is it doesn't affect the computer itself, but it makes the user ignorant of how to use a computer.'

"Have you tried doing the thing you just told me you tried?"

'This damn ??,' - 'So that's computer language,'

"Like, hello? nothing's wrong with the software. You hit delete. If you want to answer prayers, hit send."

'You've been working with computer software too long, Timpleton.'

'Something is wrong with the laser printer!'

'Damn computer hakas'

'Did you try rebooting?'

"Problem solved, Honey...no more spam on your laptop!"

'Downloading a white paper isn't just something that happens in the bathroom.'

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

"Copy machine's down again."

'I can't be fired - I'm the only one who knows all the company's computer passwords.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Scratching head

Trying to switch on the computer.

'The printer repair guy.'

'The bad news is that I've forgotten the password for my encrypted flash drive.'

"No, they're not kids on a fields trip. They're from out IT department. They seem to be getting younger and younger these days."

"Your computer's software is old. Even by my standards,

Tech-Support

"Now, before my lunch break, does anybody else need help with a CAPTCHA?"

"We hired Steve after the copier kept breaking down!"

"So with our new Service Level Agreements our help desk is offering a much faster surly and sarcastic response."

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'