Irs Aspirant Prints

'I want to work for the IRS and scare people.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"Ms. Ray, you're getting a promotion! You're no longer my Gal Friday. You're now my Gal Saturday."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

Tax Collector

"Goodness, grandma. What big deposits you made in offshore accounts without declaring it."

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'My fortune says 'you can't be too thin, or too rich, or have too much computer memory'.'

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'