Irony Appreciators T-Shirts

Experts in their field.

'Doctor, I'm tired all the time.'

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

'You're suffering from information overload. I'm going to give you some booklets describing the problem.'

Haven't eaten caviar since the bailout.

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

Common Sense Boat (sign upside-down).

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

Wet paint ahead...mined where you step.

Future Site of the Procrastination Help Centre - Opening Fall of 1996

'Now what?'

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

"It's Bring Your Personal Demons to Work Day."

'A cardboard box in the Hamptons...That's the American dream!'

"I'll take this too"

Shareholder's Meetings

'I want a smaller carrot.'

'Welcome to the Business Ethics course. Today we're going to start with the basics.'

"I got it this far - don't stop me now."

"It's Christmas, Melanie. Have young Cosgrove go down to the street and give something back to the community."

Dynamic Decision Makers: Will Probably Be back in an Hour or so

"Worse than a cold. It's a common cold."

'There were some cost overruns on the project that we need to discuss.'

"Liquidity problems?" "Yes, you've limited my water supply!"

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

'Aah... nothing beats a lovely sunny day and the thwack of rock on skull...'

"What can I DO? I'm Lightning Larry, for God's Sake!"

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

"We found her wandering at the edge of the forest. She was raised by scientists."

Pension burden on young news headline. Young woman to Cosmetic Surgeon 'Can you make me old?'

People wanted For Taste Test.

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

"Pistols at dawn?"

"False alarm. It was just a telemarketer."