Ironmonger Mugs

'Monged too much this week?'

"Hey Ned, tell your ironmonger I like his sense of humour"

Ironmongers

'I cleaned over thirty fish today.' - 'That takes guts.'

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

How Swordfish Are Born

'C'mon, guys. That old geezer just leg pressed 400 pounds when he got up from the chair.'

Scuba diver in a fishmongers

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

Tartar sauce.

'You simply put up a minimum of $2,500. If the price of fish goes up, your investment goes up. If the price of the fish goes down, your investment goes down.'

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"Give a man a fish, you cut your throat. Teach a man to fish, you're a damn fool."

DaVinci Cod

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

"Unplug and chill out."

Moby Dick.

'Fish store' 'All our products are dolphin-safe, whale-safe, turtle-safe, seahorse-safe.'

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"Yes, Ma'am, our fish is flown in fresh every day!"

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

"And yet, I too am a still life."

'It seems to be pretty easy, chief. The victim was a fishmonger and we've got a motive, a culprit and a murder weapon.'

"Guys, guys! He's pointing at me! This is great, I've never been picked first before!"

Pressing Problem

'Oh flips! I've forgot me anvil again!'

'Your mom too? Always saying, 'You never do anything constructive.''

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

"Avez-vous Cocoa Puffs?"

"Your eels are enormous - where do you get them?"

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

'It's the people downstairs again.'