Ironist In The Countryside Pillows

"Picking blackberries has gotten complex, hasn't it?"

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Lactose Intolerant

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

How to win friends and Influenza People.

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

Thatched roof car.

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

Sheep In Curlers

Scarecrows guarding a field

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

Migrating cows.

'Of course I hired Andrew. He's the best divorce lawyer around! Unfortunately, he's also the rat I want to get divorced from...'

Twitter that!

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

Profits - "On the positive side, our company has never been touched by any scandal connected with insider trading."

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

I'm tired of your games, Al. MY games? look who's talking! The guy with the role-playing hand puppets!

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

'Center for the Study of Murphy's Law' (Closed today because everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.)

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."