Ironically Indulgent Mugs

'Yes, that's all - isn't 1500 calories enough?'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Chocs away.

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

A giant glass of red wine

In Case of Emergency: Dark Chocolate

"And what would you like to regret later?"

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

'Please take this away from me.'

"Wine not?"

'Did anyone save a stomach for dessert?'

'I'm just not feeling sufficiently incentivised today.'

Candy Shop and Al's Gym:'We have heart-shaped candies' - 'We fix pear-shaped bodies'.

"Call me sentimental, but if I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

Fine candies: Healthy eating is our no. '6' concern.

"Do you have a strain that pairs well with Chunky Monkey?"

"Yippee. . . no more dieting!"

"I've kept both of my New Year's resolutions! Three donuts a day and more time in my pyjamas!"

"...And a 'Death by Chocolate' for Madame..."

"Do I love myself or is it lust?"

"When the President said each of us should ask 'What can I do for myself?' - Well, I just hopped in a cab and went right over to Saks."

"Wow - good job!"

"Table for a retirement part of one, please."