Ironical Interpretations Mugs

"I'm on break, getting a hot dog...guy in front of me drops dead...heart attack!!..........guess who they blame?"

Sock Puppet in Literature

End the Winter Blues

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"I've written the employees' benefit manual in invisible ink"

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

Oedipus

Statue of Liberty

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

Ferguson, Bramley, Osgood & Holt - Big Frogs in a Small Pond.

The Enemies Within? They're the Boys in Blue

'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'

'Most cases like yours, Mr. Johnson, clear up completely with a healthy dose of skepticism!'

"We're not admitting any wrong doing, but we've agreed to pay a ten Zillion dollar fine.''

"Don't take this the wrong way, but the first minute I saw you I wished you the worst."

"Is this your work?"

"Hi! It's me...I've gone off the rails"

'No, but you're getting warmer.'

If the British had been the first to see the Grand Canyon.

Streaking makes a comeback, but nobody notices.

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

'and what do you do?'

Executioner hit in stomach bythe head he has just cut off

' . . . but have you had a nice time?'

'A credit card company has told us not to bother to apply. We're pre-disapproved.'

'Even I am going to vote for my opposition!'

"The sudden resignation caught many by surprise. 'I wish to spend more time with my family,' he said. When contacted, his family replied, 'Who?'"

'Ok...so then we're agreed that it's all about me!'

"Rule #1: DON'T talk about sore throat club!"

The Guy Who Mixed Up His To-Do List And His Bucket List

"There must be a mistake, I'm a tee-total vegan!"

Doorman with Angel Wings

"Damn it, Maureen! You just don't break up a winning combination!"

Sorry gents. You gotta wear a jacket to get in.

5-hour Lethargy.