Ironic Music Fan T-Shirts

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

Backfire

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

Italica

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

Punk Reindeer

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Winter Weather.

Tina Turner

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"Nice haircut."

"Check out this new store."

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Volcaniax

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

Hudibras - 12 - Hudibras encounters the Skimmington.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

Music for car stereos

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"