Ironic Gifting Fan T-Shirts

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"Shouldn't have, you really."

Never give a cow a giant straw.

'You should work for Conglomo. You're allowed the vegetable of your choice.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'We only have one brand of beer, but we've got six kinds of flavor straws.'

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

Toast kidnapper.

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

101 uses of a dead cat: toilet brush

"Every Sunday, the same thing: we watch the ducks from Bow Bridge, I think about pushing you in, and then we go to that stupid Mexican place."

Fast Food Menus

'I stopped you so I could find out where you got that great outfit.'

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'The Ugoola's wheel is bigger than ours!'

'Mr. Pennrose isn't so bad...when he gives someone a pink slip, he always draws a smiley face on it.'