Ironic Commentary Followers Mugs

"Like me on tastebook or I'll blow my fruit out!"

Beggar tosses money to the 1%.

"Can you hear me now?"

Demonization: Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse.

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

"Social distancing has really changed things at the office. In some ways it's really improved relationships with colleagues. For instance..."

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

"I work all winter on my beach body, and everyone still stares at you!"

"Any family history of stroke? Diabetes? Bankruptcy?"

"It's a new year, a NEW start!. . . We must put aside our sexist misogynistic past. . ."

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

'False alarm! I'm back. It was only a career suicide.'

'This is what we call a 'patient'...you MAY find some reference to one of them on page 435 of your manual.'

"I usually vote for whoever promises to cut the most tax."

'I always vote for the candidate I think will do the least damage.'

"He's checking the math for political correctness."

"Can someone explain to me how, being here, are supposed to maintain physical distance?"

Snatching Failure from the Jaws of Success

"If the stock market fluctuates due to the emotions of mostly men, isn't there some kind of hormonal therapy available to level those out for them?"

Stopping Coronavirus

'Alf did you see they have frozen the sum you can leave before tax?'

'If you're going to San Fransisco, you can't wear a flower in your hair these days, sir.'

'You are accused of internet fraud. How do you wish to blog?'

'No.32...congratulations: your pay is frozen. No.38...well done: you're on short term working. No.14...'

'It's the only place they're allowed to advertise any more.'

'Let's face it, if there was any talent about, we wouldn't be watching this rubbish!'

"Help!"