Ironic Advisor T-Shirts

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

'I told him I couldn't keep him any longer and he lectured me on how to run my financial affairs!'

'I want you to lay off pork. In fact, I wish everyone would lay off pork.'

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Wifi in Hell

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Admit it, we're lost."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

Markets and Marketabilityby Jane Austen

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

Man reading 'Bankruptcy for Dummies'.

"She's not naked, Jake, she's French."

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"I suppose we could burst onto the literary scene."

AI Summit

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Meet The Ghostwriter

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'You've cured my insufferable conceit, Doc -- now I'm perfect!'

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

'Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.'

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

"You'll find all the adult 'Dummies and Idiots' guide books in the children's section."

Kangaroo with a smoking baby.

I was more a financial magician myself. I could make money disappear very easily.

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'