Iron Forger Prints

'He's a lousy horseshoer and he's ruining your horse's feet,...

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

How Swordfish Are Born

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Body by Jake

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'Oh flips! I've forgot me anvil again!'

'I thought you knew we play heavy metal.'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

Gym. At some point you're going to have to raise the bar.

'Your mom too? Always saying, 'You never do anything constructive.''

"It's a forgery, alright! And by the looks of it... a fairly recent one."

'It's the people downstairs again.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"And yet, I too am a still life."

'I said it's our wedding day you idiot!'

Flop Musicals: Singing in the Crane.

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

Cattle farmer's super-market

"And they say this country doesn't make anything anymore!"

'I don't need a hard hat, boss. I passed the plumb bob test where they dropped one on me from 50 stories up and I suffered no ill effects.'

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

'I play heavy metal.'

Ironmongers

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

"Upper or lower body workout?"

A bulge of bodybuilders

Excalibur Golf Course.

Steel fabricator

A foreman at a construction site glares at a smoker and points to the 'Smoking Area' at the end of a high crane.

"I was thinking about going into politics... but I've got qualifications."

'Monged too much this week?'