Iron Forger Prints

'He's a lousy horseshoer and he's ruining your horse's feet,...

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

How Swordfish Are Born

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Body by Jake

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'Oh flips! I've forgot me anvil again!'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

"It's a forgery, alright! And by the looks of it... a fairly recent one."

'It's the people downstairs again.'

'I thought you knew we play heavy metal.'

"And yet, I too am a still life."

'Your mom too? Always saying, 'You never do anything constructive.''

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

Flop Musicals: Singing in the Crane.

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

Cattle farmer's super-market

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

'I play heavy metal.'

"Upper or lower body workout?"

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

'I don't need a hard hat, boss. I passed the plumb bob test where they dropped one on me from 50 stories up and I suffered no ill effects.'

"And they say this country doesn't make anything anymore!"

Ironmongers

Excalibur Golf Course.

A foreman at a construction site glares at a smoker and points to the 'Smoking Area' at the end of a high crane.

A bulge of bodybuilders

Steel fabricator

"I was thinking about going into politics... but I've got qualifications."

'Monged too much this week?'

'Five years in that place. What on earth did you do with yourself in all that time.'