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Metal Defective.

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'You've had enough.'

'Very funny!'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

'The buildings are merging.'

'McWit, I'd like to talk to you about your blood classification system.'

Vincent Van Goth.

'Times are tough, Smith, but I don't want to lay you off. So, to keep you working, I want you to wash our building. That should keep you busy for the next decade.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

Home maintenance

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

The Coffee Tattoo

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

Planner at work.

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

"Did you have any problems at the design stage?"

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

"First, we install proper insulation. Then we call the Museum of Natural History."

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'

'Don't worry - all tall buildings sway a little in the wind.'

'So that's what it's for Ethel. It's somewhere to put their spirit level

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

'NASA, Asteroid Watch Dept'

'Office real estate' lifting weights