Involved In A Lawsuit Pillows

Occupy Budget Balancing

Trial by Media

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'What'll it be?'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'It's a treasure map.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

'This is your lucky day!'

"At first I was the aggressor but as he got the upper hand it became clear I was the victim."

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

"I pronounce you guilty as charged and wife."

'OK, OK, you've made your point. I'll admit that sometimes when I feel threatened, I snap.'

"ll I was doing was following my dream...turns out that contravened the restraining order."

"The truth, the whole truth and a touch of double entendre to keep everybody on their toes."

The Washington Arbitrators