Investment Humor Aficionado T-Shirts

'You may want to consider diversifying your portfolio.'

British savings accounts

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

"At least we're consistent ... "

Out of control

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

The Contrarian funds

Investments.

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

"He downgraded Apple."

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

The Decline of the Euro.

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

Inflation is a national headache. . . caused by asset indigestion!

The New Square Mile Regulator.

Budget Cuts

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

We live in turbulent times. Therefore I'm keeping you in turbulent stocks

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

"I see you have the latest in accounting software."

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

Financial Advisor to client: 'Your portfolio still could earn money if you believe in the existence of junk bond elves.'

"How much do I need? How much you got?"