Investment Consultants Mugs

Money manager: 'What's this about us sending our money to a rural hut in the Bahamas?'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

In the Guru District

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"What's a debenture?"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Build Your Own Portfolio

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

The economy.

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

E.U. Banking Union.

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

European currency on the edge.

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'