Investing In Fun Pillows

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Looks like another profit's warning

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"That was a rumor day."

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'Till debt do us part...'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

Sounds of the market hitting all time highs. . .

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Shareholders Meeting - I don't like the look of this year's annual shindig.

Masochism for stockholders.

At The Clown Bank.

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

Looks like another hostile takeover...

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

'I'd like to extend my overdraft...'

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

'We're giving the market three 'reallys', today.'

"Just a few more steps Wilson, we're still walking."

Snowman in front of IRS wears barrel