Interview Techniques Prints

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

'You made an excellent first impression, Fenstrom, but the second and third impressions nullified that first impressiom.'

'Will you stop saying 'touch wood'!'

"Are you an ambitious, dynamic go-getter?"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

I'm a self-made man!

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"