Interview Juggernaut Prints

I'm sorry, but your drug screen results disqualify you as an employment candidate, You see, sample 'A' is a normal brain, sample 'B' is a normal brain on drugs, and sample 'C',,, Well, Mr, Dumpty, sample 'C' is your brain,

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

Businessman wearing many hats.

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

The Jose Padilla Experience

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"This is gibberish, Nigel, but most persuasive gibberish."

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

Medieval headlines.

The Working Mum

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

Communication Breakdowns

'Tragically, Mr. Cornwell was unable to afford a personal ethicist.'

'You reckon we should mosey this guy?'

I called you to this synergistic ideation to strategize methods of creating new annoying words.

"I tell you, it's a dog-eat-dog world out there!"

'Your resume is quite impressive. However, I'm a little concerned about you biting your last four bosses.'

"I've got some skills - I'm just not sure they add up to a 'set.'"

'I took the liberty of digitally enhancing my resume to make a mountain out of a mole hill.'

'Your resume is pure baloney. How'd you like to write political speeches?'

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

"May I ask why you have 'inspired by true events' on the top of your resume?"

'But you got a second interview, that's something.'

'Finally some good news on the economy: four out of five economists agree that 80% if economists agree.'

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

"If we hire you, Sanders, you'll find that when it comes to security, we don't fool around."

"In a nutshell, my career goal is to nurture my unique personhood in a culturally diverse, progressive business environment, while also honoring the traditional values of back-stabbing, greed and global plundering!"

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

"I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot."