Interview Intricacies Enthusiasts Pillows

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Do you have any other skills?

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

'He will observe your text now...'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'How many words per minute do you type?'

'You don't want the job, do you?'

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

'Have you got a resume?'

"Where do you see yourself five lives from now?"

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

"I enjoyed your resume, young man - especially the hand-written addendum from your mom."

I think you should go after my job!

You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Work Here But You Will Be After The Training.