Interview Interpreters Pillows

"What about drug benefits, man?"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Dialogue

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

I'm a self-made man!

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

She - Interpreter - He.

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

Do you have any other skills?

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'I treat everyone here the same as my family. . . like s**t.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'