Interstellar Dater Prints

"This will never work. I'm carbon-based, and you're based on an element not found on Earth."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

Online Dating

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

Sally and Doug had met online and were proving to be very compatible...

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

Today's love

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

We met online.

Online Dating for Dummies

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

With the right combination of key strokes, credit card info and open web pages, Dave unwittingly interrupts the feedback loop between star creation and black hole formation.

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

'That must be my computer date.'

Martians spot an Earth UFO

"You new personality that you downloaded off the Internet makes you irresistible."

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

Of course we're not there yet — it's 127 light years, for pete's sake!

'We met online.'

Giant Insect Alien

Friday night was always sext night.

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."