Internship Survivor Pillows

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'As the intern, it'll be your job to work for free.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

Evil Exams!

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Gary turns 40.

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"If nothing else, school has prepared me for a lifetime of backpacking."

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

"I see you do all your own stunts."

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

Sporting maladies.

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

'You've got a broken finger.'

"Help, I'm being micro managed."

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

Tax grab.

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

"Can you characterize yourself in five words."

"A High-Pain Job? Yes, I believe we have that."

"Where do you see yourself after 5 beers?"

'Where do you see yourself five years from now?'

"Go to sleep, Harold... you've prepared enough for the third years!"

I have an opening for someone like you. It's called a door.

"Boy, will I be glad when the weekend gets here!"

'Thank you for calling the IRS... Press one for laughter in the background, press two for crying in the background.'

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years apart from a thousand miles from this f****** s**thole?"

'Really?! You didn't get fired today, either?! That's 60 days in a row! I'm so proud of you!'