Internet Symptom Sleuth T-Shirts

'I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead but I came in for a second opinion.'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"So who is this First pet?"

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

Computer Crimes

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'Gimme all your cache!'

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"I've memorized so many passwords, things are starting to get weird."

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"With all the cybercrimes corporate had to bring in a new guy, Supergeek."

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

I'd rather be phishing.

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."