Internet Symptom Checker Prints

Sara M. Decided for once not to check Web MD

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

"I think I've got analysis paralysis."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

"I looked up your rash online. Have you recently been to one of the moons of Saturn? Or, it could just be poison ivy."

You were right. I should have gone for the BT package.

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

"Next!"

"That's not what it says on the Web."

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

"According to this website my symptoms show that I'm dead!"

"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."

'It doesn't matter what pills you give me, whatever they're for, I'm sure to have it...'

"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"

"I knew it. I just KNEW it. How long have I had this condition, doctor? Is there a cure? Oh, God, it just had to be disease, didn't it..." Cathy finds out that she has hypochondria.

'A body temperature of 98.6 normally wouldn't worry me but this is in centigrade!'

Health MOTs will attract 'worried well'.

"The doctor says I have something called 'hypochondria'...and it's very hard to cure!"

Christmas Quiz: Is it covid, a hangover, or just life with small children?

"I'm very impressed with your web research,this self-diagnosis would be 100% accurate...if you were a Patagonian fruit bat!"

"I'm pretty sure you don't have it, pumpkin. Plus I don't think "reverse nausea" is even a thing."

'I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I found out that I'm dead and it's your fault.'

Hypochondria reaches a peak in middle age..

"It's my ears, Doc. I can't move them. They're... they're paralyzed!"

'He's just gone into a hot adults only website.'