Internet Medical Sleuth Prints

I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I've either got swine fever,rift valley fever,bovine spongiform encelophalopathy,bluetongue or a stubbed toe!

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

I'd rather be phishing.

Don't look know, but I think you're being Googled.

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

'...if he only knew what I wrote about him on my blog.'

Able to Google Stuff Man

"We've gleaned all we need to know about you from the internet, but we'll keep your resume as a great example of creative writing."

'I see you have some blended content. Some of it's tue, some of it's false.'

Identity in the networks

"That's not what it says on the Web."

'The mean age of our visitor is 50. It seems like when they turn 50 they get mean.'

"I tell you, he's up to no good. He spends hours on the dark web."

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

News of the Underworld

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

"We're looking for a hacker to break into our competitors computers and get their recipes."

"And you're sure this is a recent photo?"

"Don't even pretend the two of you aren't stealing my wifi!"

You have a hangover!

"Meta have stopped fact checking." "No they haven't."

"The doctor will see you shortly—in the meantime, please fill out your medical Google search history."

'Be careful! It could be a phishing mail!'

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I'm worried that I might be dead."

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

'I disagree with you, doctor. It's not just a hangnail. According to the Internet, it's a rare genetic disorder. . .'

Dog to dog: 'On the internet, I can sniff out anybody.'

Internet Spying

"Honey, would you quickly Google ‘passport, Brazil, arsenic, remarriage’ for me?"