Internet Influencer Skeptic T-Shirts

'It's been refreshing to talk to someone with a Klout score under 50!'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Changing Minds

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Mark Zuckerberg

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.