International Relations Maven Pillows

Nato Membership

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"Away with the warmonger!"

"#Win!"

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Direct Marketing...

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

Trade Show Sherpas

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"Do you think the 'Taliban' is: (a) a cellphone company; (b) a deodorant (c) a terrorist company

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

Invade/Fail/Deny

Honesty in retail

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."