International Foodie Gifts

"You can do business anywhere...as long as you speak their menu."

'I thought we were dining 'international' tonight?'

"New York are out for breakfast, Munich are having a coffee break and Tokyo are at lunch."

"Mas agua for the gringos?"

'I told you not to order in Russian.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

What the Doctor Ordered

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"You do like octopus?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Fast food. Even faster food

6 Brothers Falafel

La Table

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

"Rump roast?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'